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October 28, 2007
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=========================== TODAY'S ARTICLE ==========================
Daddies, Please Hear Us!, by Heather Holland Helton
Fathers, this writing is on behalf of your daughters who need you
desperately. These words are not meant to blame, hurt, or point
fingers, but to rattle you into responsiveness, to shake you into
action. We hurting daughters are a national dilemma. You won't hear
about us on the six o'clock news, but we are here.
We are living under your roof, eating from the same dinner table as
you, pouring from the same milk carton. We are spending at least
eighteen years, or 6,570 days with you at home. We pass you in the hall
and wonder why we aren't enough to catch your eye. We wonder what on
earth a television set, a newspaper, has that we don't. We are curious
why you don't get fired up for your daughters like you do the big game.
We are attuned to the fact you don't seem very interested in our words,
our feelings, our deepest convictions and doubts. We sob on the inside.
When you ignore us you are changing who we are. You are changing who we
were made to be, and not for the better. You may not see any results of
your emotional absence now, but soon you will. When we drink too much,
use drugs, and have premarital sex, then you will see. When we cheat,
lie, drive drunk, choose to date and marry mean guys, and get pregnant
out of wedlock, then you will see. You will see our low self-esteem
manifested. Our insecurity will come to life and you will probably be
mad at us. You shouldn't be. You should be mad at yourself for not
paying more attention to us when we were little girls.
Fathers, we are hurting.
Fathers, we thank you for the education, our shelter, food, and
clothes; but fathers, we need more.
We are tender-hearted, but you wouldn't know because you've never
stared into our hearts.
We are not like boys. Maybe boys can be tough, but we need our daddy's
tenderness.
We need your comfort when we hurt.
We need you to love us dearly and show love constantly so we know what
to look for in a man when we grow up. By constantly, I mean constantly.
Daily. Hourly. All the time.
And when you are home with us, really be home with us. Reading the
newspaper and going to bed, all the while not saying a word to us, is
not being with us.
We feel ignored.
We feel sad.
You are making us feel insecure about ourselves. And worst of all, you
are shaping—or destroying—our image of what fatherhood is.
Yes, you are shaping us. What we will become is in your hands. Don't
you know that? You are literally molding us like clay.
Maybe you wanted us, maybe you didn't. The fact remains WE ARE HERE.
We are humans, we are alive and we need more from you.
Maybe you relate better to boys. We are not boys. We need more from
you.
The way you treat our mothers is crucial to us knowing how to develop a
loving relationship of our own. When you hurt our mothers in any way,
we do not like it. Our mothers have been there, trying to fill in the
void you choose to leave every day of our lives. Do you not get that??
You should bend over backward thanking our mothers for picking up your
slack.
Most importantly of all, we see our Heavenly Father in the same light
we see our earthly fathers. If you ignore us, we then believe God
ignores us. If you hurt us, we view God as one who hurts us. If you act
like you don't want to be around us, we believe God must not want to be
around us either. You are the link! You hold the key!
There is a song by John Mayer called "Daughters." Search for it, buy
it, and listen to it.
We are very, very delicate creatures.
And we need you.
That is the bottom line.
We are not trying to hurt you or tear you down.
But we are demanding you pay attention to us.
And we need you.
If you don't, we will not grow emotionally and that will affect the
rest of our lives, our future mates, our future children and all of our
relationships forever.
Please spend as much time with us as possible. Quality time.
Tell us we are beautiful.
Tell us we are talented.
Tell us you love us more than you ever imagined possible.
Tell us.
If we don't hear good things from you about us we will not grow
emotionally or spiritually and this will affect us physically. We can't
stress this enough!
We will turn to other sources to make us feel good, whether it is right
or wrong.
Then you will be mad at us for turning to those things; but the reality
is, if you had really formed close, loving, honest, genuine
relationships with us, we wouldn't have sought those things out.
These boys at least make us feel special. You never did!
Alcohol and drugs at least take our minds off of our depression and
anxiety that you brought upon us by ignoring us all these years.
You see, fathers, its really simple.
Just pay attention.
And love us.
---------
(c) 2007 Heather Holland Helton <hette123@yahoo.com>
RELATED LINKS:
* Precious Memories, Graduation, and Lisa
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200405/20040525_graduationlisa.html
* Walkin' in My Boots
http://www.heartlight.org/two_minute/2m_991013_boots.html
* Filled with Compassion
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200705/20070517_filled.html
This article can be found on the web at:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200710/20071028_daddies.html
=========================== FEATURED PRODUCT =========================
THE PRACTICE OF THE PRESENCE OF GOD, by Brother Lawrence
This edition of this timeless devotional classic will help you
cultivate a continual awareness of God in the everyday.
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ministry. Thanks SO MUCH for your help!
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