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November 5, 2007
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=========================== TODAY'S ARTICLE ==========================
What Reveals Your Character?, by Phil Ware
Note:
This is one of several letters Phil is sending to his grown children to
help them know about their grandfather, called Daddy Al. You can find a
link at the bottom of the page to take you to a list of all the other
articles associated with this subject.
Dear Zach and Megan,
I want to share with you the sixth principle your Daddy Al tried to
teach me many years ago. What I appreciated is that he demonstrated
this principle in a positive way so many times I was with him. And yes,
he blew it some, too. But, he wanted to do better at this himself and
hoped I would do it better, too. Unfortunately, you've seen some of
those who didn't live this principle. Even more unfortunately, some of
those bad examples have come from me -- but I'm working hard to live
this principle and I want to invite you to do the same.
Let me give you a couple of negative examples before we get to the
positive way to live the sixth principle.
Scenario One:
You've seen the group in the cafe or restaurant. They gather each
week for conversation, friendship, and maybe even a bit of prayer.
It is a sweet time for them and they obviously feel good about
getting together with other believers. This time is their oasis in
the middle of an otherwise tense and challenging work week lived
out among many who do not share their faith.
The wait-staff at the little cafe knows this group, too. They know
the group is made up of professing Christians. They've seen the
group pray. They've overheard the group's spiritual conversation.
They also know that this group will tip less and demand more than
most "non-Christian" groups that they serve -- if you don't believe
this is true, ask ten people who have experience as waiters. They
also know that every-once-in-awhile, one in this "Christian" group
leaves a little spiritual tract or card with messages using
Christian sounding slogans. Sometimes, someone even leaves the
wait-staff an evangelistic booklet on how to become a Christian and
escape their being lost. The wait-staff politely waits until they
are out of the group's line of sight, and then they put that
information in the same place they put the used paper napkins.
They've been mistreated, embarrassed, and short-changed by low tips
too many times to want to have anything to do with a "Christian
group."
Scenario Two:
Going to a "Christian" school, you've unfortunately seen parents go
to your games and embarrass themselves and cause a scene with the
officials. Some of those parents, immediately on arriving at the
game, wince and make comments as they recognize the officials
refereeing the game. The officials are obviously not pleased to be
there, either. The parents feel that the officials are not very
good, maybe even a bit biased against your school.
Chances are, the parents may be correct in that assessment. The
officials don't like being there. One of them, a Christian himself,
is trying to lead his co-official to Christ. Unfortunately, he
knows that this assignment will set back that hope because of the
way his friend will be treated and the things said to him by this
"Christian crowd" of parents and fans. The non-Christian ref is
always amazed at how insulting the crowd can actually be without
using words of profanity. In some ways, it is humorous. In other
ways, it galvanizes him to keep his barriers up against anyone who
claims to be a Christian.
Am I being too harsh?
I don't think so. Not from feedback I've received about these things
from folks in both kinds of situations. As you know, I am sadly guilty
of some of these bad behaviors myself, and I wish that I could take
them back and do those things over again. I promise I would be
different in those situations and I assure you that I am different in
them today.
Aren't there exceptions to these two scenarios?
Absolutely! Unfortunately, not nearly enough exceptions. That's why
your Daddy Al's sixth principle is so crucial. It's one of the most
important that I want to share with you because I believe it is so
important to do things right in this area if we are ever going to
effectively share Jesus with others.
What is this sixth principle?
All these are real people who matter eternally!
It's simple to recite, but hard to live. The sixth principle is this:
your character is most revealed by the way you treat people most folks
don't feel that they have to treat nicely.
Now I know that you're probably saying, "But aren't we supposed to
treat everyone nicely?" And of course the answer to that is a
resounding, "Yes!" Unfortunately, we get in social situations where
social expectations help us to not see people as people, but as the
services they perform for us.
Here are some of those folks to whom I'm referring: referees, maids,
wait-staff, bellhops, ushers, elevator operators, store clerks, check
out people, secretaries, telephone operators, customer service
representatives (especially if they don't speak our language well),
custodians, ticket-takers, nurses, receptionists, sales staff,
convenience store personnel, city staffers, school workers, teachers
and school staff, and the list could go on and on.
Your Daddy Al tried to impress on me that all these people are real
people ... real people who matter ... real people who matter eternally!
And whether or not THEY are kind, considerate, fair, or good to you and
me doesn't negate the fact that WE are to treat them just as we would
like to be treated. The golden rule of Jesus -- "So in everything, do
to others what you would have them do to you!" (Matthew 7:12) -- is not
intended for our use only when it is easy or when it involves people we
like or when the situation pertains to people whom society says are our
equals. The golden rule is for everyone we meet, in every circumstance
we meet them, no matter what.
So this week, as you face the demands of your jobs and you run into
people who try to run over you, ignore you, mistreat you, or ignore
you, let them be a reminder of what you refuse to become. And as you
bump into folks that those around you may mistreat or simply view as
folks who owe them a service, please remember what your Daddy Al tried
to teach us all: your character is most revealed by the way you treat
people most folks don't feel that they have to treat nicely. Living
with this kind of character is what made Jesus so unique. It's what
will make you so special, too!
Love you both!
Love,
Dad
P.S. I do beg the forgiveness of all those referees, umpires,
officials, and spectators who witnessed me failing the character test
on this issue. I'm not all the way there yet, but I assure you, I am
seriously committed to living my dad's sixth principle in my daily
life.
---------
(c) 2007 Phil Ware <phil@heartlight.org>. All rights reserved.
RELATED LINKS:
* Other Articles in this Series
http://www.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/admin/articles_admin.cgi?action=make&status=preview&id=1474
* Give Your Kids a Sporting Chance
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200710/20071020_goodsports.html
* Genuine
http://www.heartlight.org/timely_truths/genuine.html
* Southern Hills Church of Christ
http://www.southernhillschurch.org
This article can be found on the web at:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200711/20071105_character.html
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