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January 12, 2009
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=========================== TODAY'S ARTICLE ==========================
Made 2BN Community, by Phil Ware
Two families walk into a church foyer on the same Sunday. They use the
same door. They arrive minutes apart. By the time their church
experience is over, one family says, "That is the friendliest bunch of
folks we've ever been around." The other family feels shunned,
neglected, overlooked, and unwelcome.
What's the difference? Was it ...
* expectations?
* facial expressions?
* choice of clothing?
* greeters?
* décor?
* personality type?
* knowing folks there?
* previous church wounds?
Sometimes we can know. Other times we will never fully understand.
Underneath it all, however, there is a truth we all have to face: we
are made to be in community. That's the way God hard-wired us from the
beginning.
Sure, some of us connect best at a mega-church, or a small church, or a
church rich in traditions, or a small church, or even a less formal
home gathering. But all of us are made with the need to connect with
other people just like we are made with a need to connect with God.
Listen to just a few of scriptures that play off of this theme:
The LORD God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone ..." (Genesis
2:18).
Two are better than one ... a cord of three strands is not easily
broken (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12).
Calling the twelve together he [Jesus] sent them out two by two ...
(Mark 6:7).
Day by day continuing with one mind in the temple, and breaking
bread from house to house, they were taking their meals together
with gladness and sincerity of heart (Acts 2:46).
And these are just a sample.
Bottom line: we were made to be in community.
When asked what the greatest command was, Jesus talked first about
loving God. He then quickly added that there was a second command of
like importance: love our neighbor as we love ourselves (Matthew
22:37-40). Jesus didn't leave open the option of being in relationship
with others if we were going to be in relationship with God. What Jesus
implied in this teaching, John makes clear in his writings (1 John
especially drives home this point!).
God made us to need to others. God also calls us to live a life of love
in relationship with others. In our love for each other, God's love is
made complete (1 John 4:12) and we show we are followers of Jesus (John
13:34-35).
Opening ourselves up to others, however, is not easy. Many of us have
been hurt or have been neglected and betrayed by others in the past.
Connecting to others feels dangerous. Being involved with other people
is time consuming. Other people can be boring, presumptuous, unkind, or
unfair. So many of us shun this call to community because we do not
want to risk connecting to others because of past hurts.
At the same time, deep in our souls, we know we need others in our
lives. Many who went to the Alaskan frontier in the early days of
homesteading were never heard from again. While the winters were harsh,
the isolation of being alone for such long periods of time away from
community literally drove people mad. We are not meant to be alone!
In the 1950's, as concern for health and hygiene dominated the health
news in the U.S., babies were kept in isolation from others. People
wore masks if they were going to be in the presence of newborns.
Touching babies, especially with bare hands, was discouraged. For a
time, bottle-feeding was preferred to breast-feeding. Infant mortality
began to rise. A condition called marasmus -- or failure to thrive now
associated almost exclusively with malnutrition -- started going up to
levels close to non-developed countries. In the U.S., marasmus was
caused by the lack of human touch and close community. We are made to
be in relationship with other people!
Jesus didn't leave open the option!
Living in community, like living in family, is always going to be messy
and challenging. We lose control when we are in relationship with
others. This is the scary part of it. But, it is precisely when we live
the radical ethics of Jesus in community that we experience his
presence. As the Lord said, "For where two or three come together in my
name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20). There is something about
living in the dangerous place of influence, accountability, and
forgiveness with flawed people that opens our eyes to Jesus.
I carry around several folders of things I am studying. In one of those
folders is a picture of a person. When this person entered the life of
our church, this person resisted being connected with any group of any
kind. This person simply came to church. So when this person's spouse
died unexpectedly, this person was without connections. And despite the
fact that others tried to reach out to this person, this person felt
neglected and alone, let down by everyone -- friends, neighbors, and
church. Sometimes we avoid what we most need -- community and
relationships -- only to blame others for not giving it to us when we
are under stress, grief, crisis, or catastrophe. We end up hurting
ourselves by our avoidance of what we need.
All of us need to find some form of Jesus-based spiritual community. It
may not look the same for us. Jesus mentioned two or three gathering
together while the Jerusalem church had gatherings in the thousands and
small house-to-house gatherings. Yet if Jesus is going to be real to
us, if we are going to experience his presence, we are going to have to
risk living in real community.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Last Week: Drawing Nearer
Next Week: Radical Community
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Life Questions to Ponder and Discuss
I'd love to get a response to some of these questions on my blog
http://www.thephilfiles.com
What kind of Jesus-based community are you a part of?
Does it include large gatherings, small gatherings, or both?
Where have you most clearly experienced the presence of Jesus in
community?
Some in our Heartlight.org community are not connected to traditional
church membership.
What kind of Jesus-based community do you share in?
Is there something that led you away from a traditional church
experience?
Where do you experience spiritual community?
---------
(c) 2009 Phil Ware <phil@heartlight.org>. All rights reserved.
RELATED LINKS:
* Drawing Nearer
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200901/20090105_drawingnearer.html
* Real Community
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200712/20071219_community.html
* Real Community
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200101/20010104_community.html
* Southern Hills Church of Christ
http://www.southernhillschurch.org
This article can be found on the web at:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200901/20090112_2bncommunity.html
=========================== FEATURED PRODUCT =========================
TOTAL FORGIVENESS, REVISED AND UPDATED, by R.T. Kendall
Holding a grudge? Experience all of God's blessings when you pardon
others completely! Using examples from the life of Joseph and new
testimonies from those whose lives have been transformed, Kendall helps
you understand the consequences not forgiving.
http://shopping.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/link?260
Find more great books, CDs and videos at the Heartlight store! With
each purchase you make, you're helping to support Heartlight's
ministry. Thanks SO MUCH for your help!
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