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October 29, 2007
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=========================== TODAY'S ARTICLE ==========================
Look Them in the Eye, by Phil Ware
Special Note:
This is the fifth letter of Phil to his grown children, Zachary and
Megan, sharing with them the values he learned from his father, known
as Daddy Al. The other letters in this series can be found through the
link at the bottom of this page.
Dear Megan and Zachary,
Hope you are doing well and have been blessed by these memories I'm
sharing with you about your Daddy Al. I wished you had gotten the
chance to know him in person. Even the pictures you have seen are
mostly from the last few years of his life when his physical vitality
had been sucked from his failing body. In younger years, he was a
vibrant, passionate man who was quite athletic. At one time, he had
actually won the 100 yard dash and the long jump for Dallas Sunset in
the district track meet and went to college on a track scholarship.
I remember one very distinctive physical trait about your grandfather:
he had piercing blue-gray eyes. They could be soft and inviting; they
could also be hard and withering. His eyes would also sparkle and open
wide when he was excited. He had full eyebrows that were animated when
he talked, so they accentuated the ways his eyes appeared. You never
had to wonder what kind of mood he was in, because his eyes told the
whole story.
Why would I share this with you? That's easy to answer today. Eyes --
especially eye-to-eye contact between people -- were very important to
him. The fifth key life-principle I learned from my dad, your Daddy Al,
was this: Look people in the eye when you talk to them.
At first glance, you're probably wondering, "Where in the world do you
find this principle in the Bible?" But let me share with you what lies
behind this principle.
First, if you tell the truth to folks, you don't have to hide anything.
If you are telling the truth, you are going to look someone in the eye
and share what is on your heart. Part of this principle of looking
people in the eye has to do with your word. Are you honest? Does what
you say have integrity? Are you trying to hedge the truth? Are you
trying to "schmooze" someone and trying to sell them something? For
Daddy Al, your word was your bond. Honesty was essential and a person's
eyes told their true story. Hide your eyes, you're hiding something.
Look away and you are dodging something. Look down, and you are ashamed
or don't want someone to see into your soul. Look someone in the eye
and own up to the truth. As Jesus and his brother, James, put it, "Let
your 'yes' be 'yes' and your 'no' be 'no' for anything more than that
is from the evil one." (Matthew 5:37;James 5:12, this is a paraphrase).
It's a lot harder to lie or distort the truth looking someone in the
eye.
I hope you will look them in the eye!
Second, looking someone in the eye is a sign of respect. You are
focusing your attention on that person and what he or she is saying.
You are blocking out all distractions and listening just to them. This
is especially true when you around someone who is older. To not pay
attention to them would be to disrespect them. Listening shows people
we truly honor their words by looking them in the eye and paying
attention to what they are saying (James 1:19). Look people in the eye
and listen respectfully when they talk to you.
Finally, looking someone in the eye is a way to show your compassion
and love. So much is communicated by the way we look at people. People
who don't normally receive the respect of others because of their
perceived unimportance or lower status in society should receive our
respect -- we should look them in the eye and honor them just as we
would someone perceived to be of great stature. Our eyes will reflect
our hearts and people can see that we truly care for them by the way we
look at them. If you read carefully the story of Jesus in the four
gospels, you will notice how important his looking at people and truly
seeing them. This was so very important to them. No one wants to be
invisible and insignificant, so let's view people as Jesus did (Matthew
14:14;Mark 10:21;Luke 7:13). If Jesus took the time to look people in
the eye and value them -- especially the forgotten people on the
margins of society -- then we must follow his example and share his
compassion.
I'm not sure where this week will take you. I do know, however, that
you will meet many people as you follow your daily routine. I hope you
will look them in the eye, treat them with integrity, speak with them
honestly, show them respect, and value them as Jesus does. As you do, I
know your Daddy Al is proud of you.
Love you both so very much,
Dad
---------
(c) 2007 Phil Ware <phil@heartlight.org>. All rights reserved.
RELATED LINKS:
* Other Articles in this Series
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200709/20070924_remembering.html#series
* A Ride with Daddy
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200305/20030527_ride.html
* Daddy Make Him Stop!
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200306/20030611_stop.html
* Southern Hills Church of Christ
http://www.southernhillschurch.org
This article can be found on the web at:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200710/20071029_intheeye.html
=========================== FEATURED PRODUCT =========================
VELVET ELVIS: REPAINTING THE CHRISTIAN FAITH, by Rob Bell
In this provocative, hopeful book, Bell asks what the church might look
like if today's believers fully embraced "the way" of love, peace,
sharing possessions, compassion, risk, forgiveness, and harmony.
http://shopping.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/link?254
Find more great books, CDs and videos at the Heartlight store! With
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