-/\/\-----------------------------------------------------------------
\ / HEARTLIGHT(R) Magazine -- http://www.heartlight.org/
--\/------------------------------------------------------------------
February 26, 2009
|-- This Week's Bestsellers at ChristianBook.com: ---------|
Find the bestselling Christian books at Christianbook.com.
Updated every week! Just click the links below:
Bestsellers: http://ads.heartlight.org/email/168/
Just Added: http://ads.heartlight.org/email/169/
Christianbook.com: http://ads.heartlight.org/email/170/
|------------------------------------------------------------|
=========================== TODAY'S ARTICLE ==========================
Love Path 911: Email Betrayal, by Joe Beam
Special Note:
Each week, Joe Beam is answering questions submitted by Heartlight.org
subscribers based on his counseling experience, academic research, and
heart for people as a minister. You can submit your questions to
ask@joebeam.com.
Question:
My husband had an email affair with an old girl friend; I found the
emails and am devastated! Though he ended it, I want to go through
the emails with him; he wrote that it was the real thing and that
he didn't know if he loved me. He gets mad and says I am always
going to throw it up in his face. Should he have to face those
emails and answer or should I just forgive him and love him and
work on marriage?
Paul wrote in Ephesians that we are to speak the truth in love (Ephesians
4:15), put away falsehood and always speak truthfully (Ephesians 4:25),
and say those things "helpful for building others up according to their
needs, that it may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29).
His actions devastated you and you need to understand what he was
thinking or feeling. It is important for him to answer your questions
because it will tear you down if you don't know. Your doubts, fears,
and anticipations will keep you miserable and afraid. You need to be
freed from the tyranny of the unknown and the only way to find that
freedom is to know the truth.
Don't expect him to be able to explain everything he wrote.
Your husband's anger may mean that he is embarrassed. Or he is afraid
that if you know the truth you will leave him. He may fear you telling
others. However, there are consequences to actions (Galatians 6:7-8)
and it is unfair for him to expect you to forget and move on so that he
doesn't have to face the pain or guilt of what he did. Furthermore,
genuine confession paves the way to healing (James 5:16).
If he does not work through this with you, you will have a difficult
time trusting him again and he may never deal with the impact of his
own actions. However, don't expect him to be able to explain everything
he wrote or why he wrote them. In emotional situations people often do
things they cannot explain. Rather than focusing on those emails, you
will do much better to deal with the larger question of why and then
figure out together how to build the marriage you both want and need.
If we can help, we'd love to, check out our information listed below.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you have a question about love and relationships, send them to me at
ask@JoeBeam.com. I'll answer 1 or 2 questions each week, using my
counseling experience, academic research, and a deep respect for God's
Word.
And if your marriage is in trouble, we can help. Go to
http://www.JoeBeam.com. Our success rate, even if one partner comes
reluctantly, is three out of four marriages.
Take the Love Path Marriage Compatibility Test!
Find out more about the Love Path 911 "Save Your Marriage Seminar."
---------
(c) 2009 Joe Beam <joe@joebeam.com>.
RELATED LINKS:
* Emotional Affair
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200901/20090129_emotionalaffair.html
* Hopeless?
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200505/20050507_hopeless.html
* The Hope That is Within You
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200409/20040921_withinyou.html
* Marriage Saver
http://www.marriagesaver.com/
This article can be found on the web at:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200902/20090226_emailbetrayal.html
=========================== FEATURED PRODUCT =========================
WHEN GODLY PEOPLE DO UNGODLY THINGS, by Beth Moore
Confronts the hard questions of faith and faithfulness, and offers
warnings to Christians to safeguard themselves and others against
Satan's attacks.
http://shopping.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/link?255
Find more great books, CDs and videos at the Heartlight store! With
each purchase you make, you're helping to support Heartlight's
ministry. Thanks SO MUCH for your help!
HEARTLIGHT DAILY EMAIL /\/\
===============================================================\ /===
http://www.heartlight.org/ \/
Visit HEARTLIGHT on the web for even more articles, plus music,
devotionals and more for your Christian walk!
ABOUT HEARTLIGHT:
Heartlight, Inc. is a 501(c)(3) religious non-profit organization.
Donations are welcome and tax-deductible! Find out how to help!
http://www.heartlight.org/support
EDITOR: Phil Ware, phil@heartlight.org
HOW DO I SUBSCRIBE?
It's FREE! To subscribe send a blank email to:
join-heartlight@maillists.heartlight.org
HOW DO I LEAVE?
To unsubscribe send a blank email to:
heartlight-unsub@maillists.heartlight.org
STILL HAVING TROUBLE?
If our automated unsubscribe system isn't working for you,
send an email to mailmaster@heartlight.org and let us know
what list you would like to leave. We'll take care of you.
======================================================================
