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January 29, 2009
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=========================== TODAY'S ARTICLE ==========================
Love Path 911: Emotional Affair, by Joe Beam
Each week Joe beam answers questions our readers submit to him about
love, sex, marriage, and relationships based on his years of experience
as a counselor and minister.
Question:
Never thought I'd be asking this question as a Christian or as a
woman who was cheated on by her former husband. What do you do when
you love a married man? He has been in a loveless marriage for
years and is frustrated because the counselor comes up with ways
for them to reconnect but his wife says she "can't go there." If a
marriage continues to be daily hell, does God desire us to stay
there? -- L. S.
God intended marriage to be a relationship of love. As the Shulamite
wrote of her husband Solomon, "I belong to my lover and his desire is
for me" (Song of Solomon 7:10 NIV). Unfortunately, sometimes it turns
out differently. Why? Jesus said, "Moses provided for divorce as a
concession to your hardheartedness, but it is not part of God's
original plan" (Matthew 19:8 MSG).
Jesus made it clear!
You are hearing only one side of the story, and hearing the wife's side
of things might change your view (Proverbs 18:17). Even if it is as bad
as described, when counseling fails there are many programs that God
uses to work miracles with marriages in trouble. (Example:
www.LovePathInternational.com) However, a major problem exists in the
situation you describe: You.
As long as the husband has a confidant -- especially a confidant in
love with him -- he cannot focus on repairing his marriage. When people
have a viable "out" awaiting them, it affects the way they see life,
marriage, and the future. In short, he will not have reliable judgment
about his marriage as long as he has relationship with you. He cannot
be objective and neither can you.
Jesus made it clear that adultery -- violation of the marriage contract
-- exists before a married person has sexual contact with another (Matthew
5:28). He commands that the tempted spouse must remove the temptation,
no matter how painful (Matthew 5:29-30). As a Christian woman,
especially one who knows the heartbreak of being cheated on, please
remove yourself from this man's life immediately. Write him a firm
"goodbye" letter, give up any hope of having him, and direct him to us,
or someone like us, so that his marriage might have a chance of
healing.
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If you have a question about love and relationships, send them to me at
ask@JoeBeam.com. I'll answer 1 or 2 questions each week, using my
counselor's experience, academic research, and a deep respect for God's
Word.
And if your marriage is in trouble, we can help. Go to
http://www.JoeBeam.com. Our success rate, even if one partner comes
reluctantly, is three out of four marriages.
Take the Love Path Marriage Compatibility Test!
Find out more about the Love Path 911 "Save Your Marriage Seminar."
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(c) 2009 Joe Beam <joe@joebeam.com>.
RELATED LINKS:
* Love Path: FAQ
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200901/20090115_faq.html
* An Ounce of Prevention
http://www.heartlight.org/justformen/jfm_001_ounce.html
* 10 Things to Do if An Affair Happens
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200811/20081121_affairs.html
* Marriage Saver
http://www.marriagesaver.com/
This article can be found on the web at:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200901/20090129_emotionalaffair.html
=========================== FEATURED PRODUCT =========================
SIMPLY CHRISTIAN: WHY CHRISTIANITY MAKES SENSE, by N. T. Wright
Destined to become a classic alongside Lewis's Mere Christianity - a
fascinating and accessible apologetic for modern seekers.
http://shopping.heartlight.org/cgi-shl/link?254
Find more great books, CDs and videos at the Heartlight store! With
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