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February 19, 2009
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=========================== TODAY'S ARTICLE ==========================
Love Path 911: What is Biblically Appropriate?, by Joe Beam
Special Note:
Each week, Joe Beam is answering questions submitted by Heartlight.org
subscribers based on his counseling experience, academic research, and
heart for people as a minister. You can submit your questions to
ask@joebeam.com.
Question:
According to the Word of God, what are the "can and cannot do's"
when it comes to a sexual relationship in a marriage? (In other
words, is foreplay and intimately touching other parts of your
spouse's body allowed) -- J.P.
Twice on NBC's Today Show, I've been asked similar questions. It seems
that a great number of people, Christian or not, want to know what the
Bible says is okay in sexual practice. Before I summarize the "can,"
let's quickly examine the "cannot."
The Bible forbids:
* Incest -- sexual contact with certain relatives (Leviticus 18:7-17;
Leviticus 20:11-19)
* Homosexuality -- sexual contact with your same gender (Leviticus
18:22; Leviticus 20:1; Romans 1:24-28)
* Rape -- forcing sexual contact on another (Deuteronomy 22:23-29)
* Consensual sex outside of marriage(Exodus 22:16-17)
* Adultery -- breaking of the marital contract, especially by having
sex with someone other than mate (Leviticus 20:10; Deuteronomy
22:22; Hebrews 13:4)
* Lust -- craving sexual contact with someone other than spouse (Exodus
20:17; Matthew 5:27-28)
* Prostitution -- selling or trading sexual activities (Deuteronomy
23:17-18; 1 Corinthians 6:15)
* Bestiality -- sexual contact with an animal (Leviticus 20:15-16)
* Menstrual sex -- sexual intercourse while the women is in menses (Leviticus
15:24, Leviticus 18:19, Leviticus 20:18) [Many believe this may be
specific to Old Testament and not applicable today.]
The loving union between a husband and wife!
* Harm -- anything that does harm to the body (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)
My summary of the above pulls everything into three categories for
people of God:
* We may not have sex -- in reality or fantasy -- with any person
other than our spouses.
* Bestiality must never occur.
* Nothing should be done that causes harm to either person.
Other than that, I see no Biblical prohibitions. In my understanding of
the Bible, anything that does not violate any of the above three
principles is quite okay for a married couple. Additionally, there are
passages in the Song of Solomon that demonstrate that loving union
between husband and wife can involve various activities addressing
various parts of the body. As to one of the specifics you mention in
your question, in Song of Solomon 4:16, it appears that Solomon's wife
requested this. If you wish to know more, or have a deeper explanation,
please write me at ask@JoeBeam.com.
If you have trouble with the sex life in your marriage, we may be able
to help.
http://www.LovePathInternational.com.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
If you have a question about love and relationships, send them to me at
ask@JoeBeam.com. I'll answer 1 or 2 questions each week, using my
counseling experience, academic research, and a deep respect for God's
Word.
And if your marriage is in trouble, we can help. Go to
http://www.JoeBeam.com. Our success rate, even if one partner comes
reluctantly, is three out of four marriages.
Take the Love Path Marriage Compatibility Test!
Find out more about the Love Path 911 "Save Your Marriage Seminar."
---------
(c) 2009 Joe Beam <joe@joebeam.com>.
RELATED LINKS:
* Inviting Darkness Home
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200704/20070423_darknesshome.html
* Heart Attack & Intimacy
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200902/20090205_heartattack.html
* Different Desires
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200006/20000609_desires.html
* Marriage Saver
http://www.marriagesaver.com/
This article can be found on the web at:
http://www.heartlight.org/articles/200902/20090219_appropriate.html
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